A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

A pedophile is chatting on the internet : “On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?”

Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

What’s a rapist’s favourite scale? C Minor.

your momma so fat when she stepped on the weighing scales her phone number came up!

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with " i need your weight not your phone number"

yo mama so fat she stand on the scale and the scale says: i want your weight no your phone number

Which part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales!

My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?

Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number.

your mama is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said damm

There was this man and he forgot about his wife’s birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale