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Fat

Anonymous

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Fat

Anonymous

Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

Puns

Anonymous

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

Fat

Anonymous

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

Head

commit slip'n'slide

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

Morning

Tyrone

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, “I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS”. Bill Says, “Ok”. The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it…It’s a scale! Bill hasn’t been seen since October 2, 2002.

Fish

Anonymous

Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

Old

I'm 10

A pedophile is chatting on the internet : “On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?”

Dwarf

Angelalala

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,… That’s a little condescending 😊

Wife

Anonymous

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

Fat

GamerBlogsYT

your momma so fat when she stepped on the weighing scales her phone number came up!

Minor

Mayonnaise.

What’s a rapist’s favourite scale? C Minor.

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Fat

Anonymous

When a fat person steps on a scale it says: “to be continued”

Fat

Anonymous

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with " i need your weight not your phone number"

Number

Gwen

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face…

Fat

THAT MEXICAN

My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?

Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number.

Fish

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

Which part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales!

Fat

Anonymous joe

yo mama so fat she stand on the scale and the scale says: i want your weight no your phone number

Fat

Anonymous

your mama is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said damm

Wife

Kylie

There was this man and he forgot about his wife’s birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale

Funny

CHUCK

On a scale of 8 to 10 - how good do i look ?

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