A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, “I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS”. Bill Says, “Ok”. The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it…It’s a scale! Bill hasn’t been seen since October 2, 2002.

Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

A pedophile is chatting on the internet : “On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?”

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,… That’s a little condescending 😊

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

your momma so fat when she stepped on the weighing scales her phone number came up!

What’s a rapist’s favourite scale? C Minor.

When a fat person steps on a scale it says: “to be continued”

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with " i need your weight not your phone number"

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face…

My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?

Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number.

Which part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales!

yo mama so fat she stand on the scale and the scale says: i want your weight no your phone number

your mama is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said damm

There was this man and he forgot about his wife’s birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale

On a scale of 8 to 10 - how good do i look ?