Scale Jokes

Fat

Anonymous

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."

4

Puns

Anonymous

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

0

Yo mama

Know your place mama

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Dwarf

Angelalala

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,... That's a little condescending 😊

1

Wife

Anonymous

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

Step

Anonymous

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself. Everyone else in the minefield...

Funny

Tyrone

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

Finger

commit slip'n'slide

friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

Fat

GamerBlogsYT

your momma so fat when she stepped on the weighing scales her phone number came up!

0

Yo mama

Anonymous

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

Yo mama

bruh

Yo mama so fat when she went on the weighing scale it said to be continued

Yo mama

FAROUK BELLOMOU

yo mama so fat when she went on the weighing scale it aid to be continued.

Fat

adam

me: Mom the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

Yo mama

Haeden and Max

Your mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said "to be continued"

Memes

Half the damn girls on this site bruh

Fat

United kingdom

Your mum is so fat when she was sitting on a scale the number couldnt even fit in the scale and came shooting out

Fat

Anonymous121

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said "I asked for your weight not your phone number"

Yo mama

Chris

Your mama is so fat. She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Fat

Jayboy555

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale the doctor said I want your weight and not phone number

Fat

cj siles

joe mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be contined