A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself. Everyone else in the minefield...
Why are fish đ easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jacksonâs last boyfriend?
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care centre, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself,... That's a little condescending đ
When you step on the weighing scale it shows your phone number!
Teacher: How much is a gram? Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need
When a fat person steps on a scale it says: âto be continuedâ
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
you so fat
when you stepped on the scale
Buzz Lightyear came out and said
âto INFINITY and beyondâ
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate u 9/11
I want your weight not your phone number
If you wanna get fat what's the quickest way to do it? Eat two jars of mayo each day and in about a month your scale will have your phone number!
