Diet

Diet Jokes

People

Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?

They have to see food to eat.

Feminist

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

Monkey

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

  • 6
  • Vegetarian

    Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.

    Emo kid

    Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

    After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

    Vegetarian

    Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

    They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

    Banana

    Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

    Wife

    A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

    Body

    It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

    Calorie

    What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.

    Nothing

    They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

    Fatman

    why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

    Seven

    Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.