Iron jokes
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
What is black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Me and Who?
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?
Answer:
These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!
Which mineral is impolite?
Ironically.
Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Three men are working on a building site.
Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
"By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
"Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
"I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
"If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Iron jug.