Health jokes
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Memes
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.