Health jokes
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
My therapist said time heals all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait...
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!