Health jokes
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What if your Corona test is neutral?