Health jokes
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.