Christmas Tree jokes
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Now, THAT'S Gotta Hurt...
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.