Health jokes
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
Memes
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.