Health jokes
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.