Special Olympics jokes

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

Kleenex

Depends

Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

Velcro Shoe manufacturers

Steven Hawkings Publishers

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.