Health jokes
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
You're so skinny that you fall.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Memes
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
I never get off on the wrong foot.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.