Health jokes
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
You fighting? More like you're dying!
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!