Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Health Jokes
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
