Health jokes
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
What is mad cow disease?
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
You know who else has dementia?
Comments for answer.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end.
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.