Health jokes
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Memes
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is a good night sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk home from school and walk home and walk home from home and walk home and get a good night walk and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from...
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.