Health jokes
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
You fighting? More like you're dying!
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
I forgot the joke.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.