Fighter jokes
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.