Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Health Jokes
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
He pimples?
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
