State jokes

I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

"Joe Mama is very cool. Sweet Home Alabama starts."

Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

Where are crackheads from?

OHIGHo

Here [are] some questions firesharky:

1. What color hair do u have?

2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

3. What state [were] u born in?

Do not say I don't know.

How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.

What do you call an old snowman?

Answer: Water.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

Orphans are banned in Alabama.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

Does a midget count as an orphan?

When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.