State jokes
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with a light on.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."