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If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!

everyone take off your pride flags its already a new month

Normal person:"I'm perfect" Goth person:"nobody is"

knock knock who's there? depression.. that's my best friend.

Q.Why do Skeletons hate the cold A. It sends chills up there spine

I once had a trash can as a girl friend I was ready to break up with her but all she had to say was "please don't dump me" then I said "sorry i'm ready to take out the trash"

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.