Health jokes
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!