Health jokes
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
Memes
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.