Health jokes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.