Health jokes
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]