Health jokes
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-aid.
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!