Health jokes
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Memes
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What is a good night sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk home from school and walk home and walk home from home and walk home and get a good night walk and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from...
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.