Poop Jokes

Anonymous

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. – But he’s still making fun of me.

GabeTheGuy
in Butt

So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “does your poop stick to your fur?” And the rabbit replied, “no” and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

2
Anonymous

you

Anonymous

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

:(

1
Anonymous
in Puns

What do you call a planet that poops-- Uranus

2
Lito
in Smell

Me: John what did he do earlier

John: hold on, I’m trying to think

Me: I thought I smelled poop

Big peen

I’d tell ya a poop joke But your my favorite turd

pooparia

so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!

Anonymous

Wanna hear a poop joke? Nah, they always stink

butt
in Puns

what did one poop say to the other poop?whats the matter you look flushed

Anonymous
in Puns

What do Cavemen Poop in? A NEANDER STALL

Anonymous

What did the poop said to the toilet paper? “You’re in the roll!”

Anonymous
in Yo mama

Your mom sings “It’s the final countdown” while pooping.

Logan
in Cow

I say cow poop – cow’s say moonure

Anonymous

Have you heard about the movie constipation?

No,Because It never came out…

Anonymous

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend’s brother carl. he got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. when we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. it was pretty cholerious.

Ruthra
  • Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop
  • Right. So you weight yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
  • Oh…that might actually be even easier
Anonymous
in Animal

There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men’s sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it’s so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don’t want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let’s just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I’m not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let’s just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion… a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell… The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.

3
lalala24
in Rabbit

poop of rabbits is cereal

HyperUnicorn

We Spend The Weekend Getting The POOP OUT!