Medical condition jokes

Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...

They were shaking in excitement!

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.

Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?

An earthquake.

What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?

After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?

It’s their funny face.

I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.

what do you call a white person having a seizure?

a vanilla shake.

I would tell a scoliosis joke.

But that would be completely out of line.

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?

..... She had cancer.... ;)

Stephen, are you a vegetarian?

I am a vegetable.

You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.