My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Never buy a epileptic kid light up sketchers
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
I would tell a scoliosis joke
but that would be completely out of line
what do you call a white person having a seizure
a vinnila shake
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common? Both are sick and twisted
What’s the best thing about Alzheimer’s? You can hide your own Easter Egg’s!!
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
whats juice wrlds favourite salad? a seizure salad
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights
He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine? An earthquake.
What happens when you have a kid with Torrets and a hair trigger? The Las Vegas shooting
Hey girl are you osteoporosis, because your giving me a "Bone" condition
You know what i like most about people with parkinsons... Their Hand-shake
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese
lol I switched out my friends leukemia medication for mercury (Like and comment if you get it)
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
