Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race…

Result: Time is still running…

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race because the grass tickles there balls

Two cats called ‘1,2,3’ & ‘un,deux,trois’ had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

Pedophiles don’t win races because they like to come in a little behind.

Why did the lion lose the race-because he was playing with a cheetah

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Timmy looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car.” They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Susie looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car garage.” They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, “hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage.”

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, “what’s wrong?” Lil Susie says, “well Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn’t fit so we cut them off.”

a hot dog and a banana had a race who won


Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?

Because it never runs out of juice.

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

What is a retards favorite race? The grand autismo

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race. What is the order of finish?

  1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
  2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
  3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

Did you hear about the tomatoe and the lettuce race? Well the lettuce was a-head and the tomatoe was trying to ketchup

What was the Nazi racing tournament in 1943?


There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup

Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture…Tonya says…“I’ll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds”