Fire jokes

What begins with F and ends with CK?

Fuck, I mean fire truck.

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?

Because they've already been roasted!

Why is arson so fun?

IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE

Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.