Campfire

Campfire jokes

Cannibal

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."

Cowboy

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Story

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.

One

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

Scout

When does a cub become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first brownie.

Bigfoot

The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."

Cowboy

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

Marshmallow

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Marshmallow

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Cowboy

Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.

Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."

Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."

Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.

Community

Songs you NEED to listen to!

Velvet Ring - Big Theif Genesis - Grimes Brakhage - Stereolab Jump the Turnstile - TV Girl, Jordana Partyisntover/Campfire/Bimmer- Tyler, The Creator

(Requested by Anonymous)

Arthur strolled into camp with a mischievous smirk on his face, his clothes nowhere to be found. Dutch raised an eyebrow at him, his expression a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"What the hell are you doing, Arthur?" Dutch demanded.

"Just enjoying a little freedom, Dutch," Arthur replied with a chuckle. "Why, are you jealous?"

Dutch glared at him, crossing his arms. "Put some damn clo… Read more