Bus Driver Jokes

The Special

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Macaroni
in Nun

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

“Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

“Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

“Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”

“Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

Anonymous
in Puns

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

Anonymous

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Anonymous

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Anonymous
in Girlfriend

My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

today was the worst day ever my ex got ran over by a bus, and i lost my job as a bus driver

Orianna

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!

Puma

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn’t matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!

Racialism

So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.

Anonymous

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

Anonymous
in Sally

Why couldn’t Billy go to school today? The bus driver hit sally

Anonymous

Do you know a funny bus driver? I do

Anonymous
in Left

What is bus driver that does not work? A useless one ☝️

ishaaq
in School

imagine u go to school right u hit the curve the bus driver be like ahhh how do i stop the bus students from the bus jump from the windows one of the students THAT’S a U Problem

Crackhead

So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)

3
No baby boo Fredrick
in Air

Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose