Ex

The Special

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Baby

aye

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Time

Fred

Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

Kid

Anonymous

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

Hit

Anonymous

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

Nun

Macaroni

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

“Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

“Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

“Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”

“Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

Girl

Anonymous

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

4

Tire

Cryaotic

Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

0

Sally

Anonymous

Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.

Child

Anonymous

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

2

Singing

Allan C.

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Yo mama

Anonymous

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus

3

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

0

Fast

Robert W.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Yellow

Jimmbo

What’s big and yellow and can’t swim, a bus filled with children

Dwarf

Meme

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

Hit

Meme.mp5

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

Puns

Anonymous

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

Explorer

MarkerThatSux

Q: How did the explorers get to school? A: They rode the Colum-bus!

Twin Towers

Lick me Succ me

whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

0