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Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

whats yellow and can’t float?

A school bus full of children

whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

Ones a crusty Bus station and one’s a Busty crustacean

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A TWINKiE!!!

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish?” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish