Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

whats yellow and can’t float?

A school bus full of children

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

“Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

“Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

“Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”

“Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

Ones a crusty Bus station and one’s a Busty crustacean

What’s yellow and can’t swim? a school bus full of kids

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