By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.

Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A TWINKiE!!!

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

Q: why did Sally drop her ice cream? A: she go hit by a bus.

Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van?

Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

whats yellow and can’t float?

A school bus full of children

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

Ones a crusty Bus station and one’s a Busty crustacean

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Me:whats yellow and cant swim?

My sister: What??

Me:a school bus filled with kids

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.