Restraining Order jokes

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

like this if you have ever been abused.