Toast jokes

Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

What do you say to toast with bad shoes?

"Butter those."

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Stick toast to the ceiling.

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Beans and toast.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

Let's have toast in the bath.

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

Butter believe it.

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

The Toaster: The best bath bomb!

A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."

How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?

He toasts the groom.

What do strippers and butter have in common?

Both spread for bread.

My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.