Toast jokes

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.

After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"

The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."

Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.

What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Stick toast to the ceiling.

What did the toaster say to the toast?

"I want you inside me."

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

What do you say to toast with bad shoes?

"Butter those."

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

Bread?

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

Let's have toast in the bath.

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.