A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception? He toasts the groom
Once my friends bakery burned down...His business is toast.
Butter believe it
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What do strippers and butter have in common? Both spread for bread
i got a toaster for my birthday and said "yay new bath bomb"
Lets have toast in the bath
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
FUN FACT: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What’s the difference between God and Hitler? God made thousands Of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast
911 what's your emergency burning in toaster toast? yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast set fir to my forest
how do people eat bread
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree and so she could live forever.
But it I'm not gonna lie it was a nice toasty fire...
*I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.― Steven Wright
what do you say to toast with bad shoes? Butter those
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
What did the toaster say to the toast?”i want you inside me”
You like bread toasted that means you’re roasted
