Fire Jokes

what is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire

answer: Hot wheels...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?

Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain"

One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:

"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"

"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."

"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"

"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"

"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"

What begins with F and ends with CK fuck i mean fire truck

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage

Priest: How the hell did that fire start Rabbi: I don't know but what about the children? Priest: Fuck the children Rabbi: Do we have time? Priest: There's always time for something like that.

This 15 year old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed unfortunately it killed her dad because it fell off the wall

(Do you get the joke)

(Her dad was on her and it fell and killed him)

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

got fired from the bank yesterday

they caught me drinking on the job

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the 'bright side' of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

Man: aw man im having a bad day Man's friend:same Man:so why did you have a bad day my brother got hit by the school bus Man's friend: i got fired as a bus driver Man: oh great heavens

God: i feel like i'm forgetting something....... oh no Earth *sees it on fire* oh it's fine People of Earth: *running and screaming* Santen: *to God* realy