My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park on his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
911 I JUST CRASHED MY CAR I THINK ITS BURNING I CAN'T SEE IT HURTS TO BREATHE
hi got fired oh don,t know which fire oh the that i got burned on the volcano
Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire... the top of the stairs
My penis is on fire
“Grandma, tell me a story!” I said as we huddled near the campfire “Alright,” She said “Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.” “Where is Timmy now?” I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.
THIS WEBSITE! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and your ready to fire.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE”
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire then called him hot wheels.
Someone is talking about you behand your back,make run vhaleka
fart <3
Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.
boss: you're fired
me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
boss: you're a waiter where did you get those
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?", he asks. "Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis
