A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink?
Depresso espresso
Friend 1. whats your favorite drink or food Friend 2. pizza Friend 3. Donuts Friend 4. i don't eat food but i do drink bleach Friend 1. (calling the suicide hotline) Friend 2. (Calling the parents)
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says "A beer please! and one for the road!"
What do you call a sad Coffee
Despesso
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable Other man: How do you know that? Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth* Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Why Is the Rum Gone?
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
Whats a cannibal's favourite drink? A Bloody mary
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy
(Titanic walks into a bar) (britannic) what would you like to drink (Titanic) a ICEBERG.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!
Man: *steals drink Boy: bro😭😭 Man:why are u crying over a drink? Boy:that had dugs Man:....
