Drink Jokes

You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...

what do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

spoiled milk

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?

A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting

Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.

My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.

Woman: I want coffee, black Cop: *takes out gun* WHERE?!

Indian guy and American guy in a wheelchair met in a Bar for drinks. American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk. Indian guy got drunk and walked away.

Q: What’s a koalas favorite drink

A: Coca Koala

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.