Drink jokes
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Memes
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.