Drink jokes
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
Memes
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]