Drink jokes
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.