Drink jokes
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.