Drink jokes
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.