Drink jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
His favorite drink was his dribble.
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.