Why do they never serve beer at a math party? - Because you can't drink and derive.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar
What is a cannibals favorite drink? Coffee
Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
What is a trees favorite thing to drink. Root Beer
A priest a pedo and a rappest walk into a bar and thats just the first guy
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? - Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
What is an army members top drink?
WARter
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag
Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again
You go up to a bar and say hi he doesn’t look at you you keep saying hi he says what then you realize that he is the one that u stole his lady from but then he doesn’t give you any drink you say why he screams at you and then says YOUR FIVE
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don't start anything .
i like my coffe like i like my wamem
big tits
I Drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
What do you call it when your dead because of that one drink in Panera bread? Panera dead
