How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
Ocean Jokes
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
