Ocean Jokes

A random skeleton
in Puns

Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

amypetnamedsteve
in Puns

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

Anonymous

YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN

7
Anonymous
in Puns

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

6
Kenny E
in Puns

Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

4

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

Anonymous

i had a dream about the whole ocean was filled with orange soda

turns out it was a fanta sea

1
BigDickBobby

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.

The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.

The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been fucked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE FUCKED!”

Anonymous

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

Anonymous
in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat when she ordered a water bed they gave her the pacific ocean.

Jokes
in Type

How do we know that the ocean is friendly??? It waves

Someone

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked what you drawing? I saod you taking a shower.

Sans
in Puns

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Lemmings

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

Fish

Why did I giggle?

Because I saw the oceans bottom

Anonymous
in Depression

Scientists say I’m made up of 75% of water

But after jumping in the ocean its 100%just like my depression.

Anonymous
in Puns

What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

Anonymous
in Dark Humor

so there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs that said hey sir i’ve never been fucked before will you do the honors and fuck me, so I threw her in the ocean and said well your fucked now.

in Yo mama

yo mama so fat she asked for a water bed and they gave her the ocean

Callmedaddy

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW