Die jokes
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Nessie is dying.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.