Die jokes

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why did Technoblade die?

He couldn't respawn in real life!

Nessie is dying.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.