Die jokes
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
My life.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!