Die jokes

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His PC overheated.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

Why did the skeleton die from laughter?

'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"