Die jokes
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
The West is dying.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."