Die jokes
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
U die from robot bite.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.