Die jokes
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
I wish you guys all died.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
Those vids be like abt safety:
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Iron Man dies.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."