Die jokes
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
U die from robot bite.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?