Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates
why was my mate in mission impossible because he couldn't find his dad
So i went to the doctors and the doctor said "Pick a star sign any star sign" So i said "Aquarius" And the doctor said "nah mate you've got cancer"
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account prime mates
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife. The bartender answers "Mate you ain't got enough bullets."
Why does JD Vance not need conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
i was playing warzone last night and i shot my team mate that said they were emo and when i shot him another player did and it said assist kill
What do you call a fart in a gay bar A mating call
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
rape isn't a joke. it's a type of way of making friends, and to mate with other women. it's a way of art, and works on anybody! like this if you agree.
I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
NOT all treasure is silver and gold mate
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11 but it's not funny when I found out my mates mum jumped from the 21st floor
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer
Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?
So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
If finding Nemo was scientifically correct, marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo
