My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Death once had a near Chuck experience.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
The biggest legend is Technoblade.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story.
I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.
He had the curse of vanishing.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
