Myth jokes
I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
The biggest legend is Technoblade.
Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Death once had a near Chuck experience.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
He had the curse of vanishing.
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.