Demise jokes
He is dead.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Titanic didn't sink by an iceberg.
Titanic sank by 100000000000000000000000 Titanics.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
Yo mama so fat, she died!