Death jokes
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Why did the skeleton feel alone?
He was BONEsome.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
All you need is a razor blade in life.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.