Death jokes
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
Memes
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.