How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
