Death jokes
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
NO!!! NOT WIFISKELETON!!!!!!
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11... Allahu Akbar!
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.