Death jokes

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.