Death jokes

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?

Because she’s dead.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?

Because he's dead.

What makes an orphan jump?

A bridge.

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."