Death jokes
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.