Death jokes

Are you George Floyd?

Cause you take my breath away! 😮‍💨

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.