Death jokes

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

Your mother is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven when she died. jaja ur momma dead.

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Are you George Floyd?

Cause you take my breath away! 😮‍💨

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What's the difference between me and a rope?

The rope doesn't hang from itself.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?