Death jokes

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

Why did Paul Walker drown?

Because he was too busy carpooling.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.