Loss jokes
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Happy Family.
What show do orphans hate the most?
Fullerb
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
What is a family photo to an orphan?
A selfie.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.