Living Room Jokes

JimmiT
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead or anything, it’s just too scared to nove

7
MrTopAnonymous
in Puns

what room does a ghost not want to be in?

      the living room
DMinecraft 999
in Puns

People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse. They can stay in their living room.

Anonymous
in Die

911 what’s your emergency Me, my grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she’s dead Well it’s not a living room any more Me, hangs up

Anus McDickNuggets

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there

Anonymous

. why cant depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging… . why cant orphans play baseball, Because they cant find home! . a serial killer was at my house all killed all my family but me why, i was in the living room… . what do sloths and depressed have in common, they both hang off trees… . what is a group of depressed kids called, the suicide squad

Anonymous

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein

Julianna

Yo mama so fat she can’t even fit in the living room

When your so rich that you can buy anything you end up getting a cow in your living room yeah anyways my ex is still in my living room

A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of “tea” which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, “Just the cutest thing!” Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!

Anonymous
in Wife

My wife went to make a cake the recipe said separate two eggs so she put one egg in the living room

Anonymous
in Bullying

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Mary Britain

The Britain’s walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad they ask Mary the mum why she had blood all over her and she said someone dropped the butter they walked into the living room and Thomas was dead on the floor

Daniel King
in Room

Which room is the safest place in the house? The living room.

I f...ed your mom

Mom:You can’t die in the living room david so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself David:I will surpase kakarot Jordan:*dead on the living room floor

watersharky

Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I’m on the lake Boss thinks I’ve been sick for days And mama’s probably on her way ‘Cause I ain’t picked up the phone I’ve been a million places But they’re all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I’ve been a million places But they’re all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone Yeah I’ve been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail’s by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I’m dead I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone I’ve been sittin’ on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I’ve been gone (ooh, ooh) I’ve been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone

Anonymous

Superman and flash were in the living room pounding back a few beer flash says to Superman i bet you u can fly into wonder woman bed room and get the best pussy of your life so he does it when he goes back to flash Superman says to flash man that was great but my ass kinda burns

Anonymous
in Little Johnny

lil johnny can home one day and said what do fucking each other man then he walked tho the living room and his dad was fucking his mom so oh