where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Steven Hawking said there is no God,
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to go through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them, "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven."
The first guy says, "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times." The angel gives him an old model pick up. The second guy says, "11 years and only once," and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says, "20 years and not once. I loved her with all my heart," and with the angel impressed, he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later, the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says, "I know we are dead, but it could be much worse."
The guy looks up and says, "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard!"
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
