where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave or does your mortician take it from you?
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next.
I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".
God: “Steven join us” *sees the staircase to heaven* Steven: “shit”
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ''this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ''What do you ca..'' out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ''Why are you laughing I haven't even finished the joke yet''? The blonde replies '' I just got the first joke''.
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
You realize your in a parodox,until you die,you’ll see yourself die,Murder,Suicide,Old Age,Etc Then your realize your dreaming,but you realize that you die in a dream you die irl
what did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? Safe life repair, safe life replace!
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
Oh no I feel bad for Steven Hawkins he can’t get up the stairway to heaven
a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "everytime someone lies, it ticks once, Mother Terresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, " Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
