Ice

Anonymous

A teacher asks a boy in her class “If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?” The boy responds with “None.” The teacher asks why. “They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot.” The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher “3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?” The teacher says “The one sucking it.” The boy says “No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think.”

Animal

Anonymous

What do you call a dead fly? – A flew.

Kind

Daniel King

What kind of bagel 🥯 can fly?

A plain.

Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

High

Daddy Jack

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

Man

Anonymous

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Puns

Anonymous

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

Sally

Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Difference

Daddy

What’s the difference between a school and a isis military base? Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…

Puns

Anonymous

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Bee

Anonymous

Can bees fly higher than Mt.Everest? No? Actually they can. Mt.Everest can’t fly.

Time

Anonymous

how to make time fly

answer throw a clock out of the window

Moon

Anonymous

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Time

groundwork

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Puns

Credit to mah friend

Rainbows TOP the class as they always score with flying colours

Bee

ME

What goes zzub-zzub ?

A bee flying backwards

Foot

(Optional)

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

Man

Bowie fan 1

Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life

Moon

Anonymous

Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into towers.

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