Death jokes
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
How do you kill a tranny?
Misgender it to death.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.
Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.