Death jokes

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

“Life is going swimmingly,”

“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”

What's red and spins really fast?

Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

Kobe: "Don't crash!"

Helicopter: *Crashes*

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?

Because he's dead.

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

Rip Juice WRLD.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.