Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
If a baby dies in the womb , is it considered suicide?
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person? An Indian person is burnt after death
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito? He gets to tear that ass up one more time
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Why don’t coffins have wifi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral what song should you never play? Alphaville - Forever Young
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother. Not screaming like her passengers.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
who is not hungry in africa. a dead person
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says you’re next When we attend aFuneral, I say you’re next
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
The man who invented Velcro died Rip
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"
Dog: "That's pretty sexist"
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
