Death jokes
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking hot body?
Cremation.
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?
Both can't breathe.
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
How do you kill a tranny?
Misgender it to death.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.