Room jokes
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
Age is just a number, Jail is just a room.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
How many cops does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, they’ll just beat the Black out of the room.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
"Son, I found a condom in your room." "Gee, thanks, Grandpa!" "Why are you calling me Grandpa?" "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.